Valley View Online

since 1996

Copyright 1996-2016 Valley View Online World Domination. All Rights Reserved.  Which means that we reserve,  and hold for our own use, all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of derivative works; that is, we have not waived any such right. blah, blah, blah. So there.

Endorsement Disclaimer

Reference to products, third-party links, services, or other shit does not mean that we endorse any of it. But it might. You just don’t know for sure. It’s your responsibility as a reasoning adult, or even if you are a little kid (since you can read and know how to surf the Interwebs), to use your own judgement as to what you think we’re talking about. And if you think we’re telling you something, well then we’re not. Would you jump off a bridge just because Johnny did. Hell no you wouldn’t so don’t try to blame us for anything you read here.

Warranty

<sarcasm>Riiiight. We’re giving out warranties.</sarcasm>  We might have crap on this site where we talk about technology and how things work but we’re stupid morons who sometimes can’t type very well or introduce inaccuracies that might make you want to jump off a bridge right behind Johnny, but in reality we mean you should wash your hands after using the bathroom. See, two different things but because we type poorly you might interpret it as jumping. So don’t do stupid things just because you think we told you so. ‘Cause we didn’t and we aren’t going to save you if you think we did.

Liability

Haven’t you been reading? We’re not liable for anything. Even if we do tell you to wash your hands after using the bathroom. If you get sick, it wasn’t because you washed off all the beneficial germs and now your immune system is compromised and you get some rash that requires cream and it hurts.  Don’t you know that you (as the user) runs around the Internet and that you’re responsible for the shit you step in? No us. Not I. Not me. Sorry. Man up.

Valley View Online DOES NOT ASSUME ANY LEGAL LIABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ACCURACY, COMPLETENESS, OR USEFULNESS OF ANY INFORMATION, APPARATUS, PRODUCT OR PROCESS DISCLOSED ON THE SITE, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS MANUFACTURED OR HAS BEEN PURCHASED AND REPACKAGED AS A PRODUCT OF MICROSOFT CORP. BECAUSE THEY SCREW EVERYTHING UP OR OTHER MATERIAL ACCESSIBLE FROM THE SITE SINCE WE CERTAINLY CAN’T CONTROL WHAT NEW HTML EXTENSIONS ANY ONE OF THE BROWSER DEVELOPERS PLANS TO FORCE DOWN OUR THROATS NEXT ESPECIALLY INTERNET EXPLORER.

Trademarks

Everything we do or say will eventual become protected under Trademark Law as expressed by the United States Patent and Trademark Office. Mostly they just express things that none can interpret but in this instance you should feel like they expressed it very well and you know what we mean. So Valley View Online is ours and don’t try to take it. The ultimate cheese sandwich is also ours and we own the domain name in which case if you want it to be yours you should contact us and we’ll sell it to you. Even you Taco Bell. We own tacoeatersunite.com and think that you should give us millions for it except that we didn’t really mean those kind of tacos. Nudge, nudge, know what we mean. Know what we mean. Wink. Wink.

Terms of Use

We don’t really care if you come here, consume, and leave. However, if you do and then the government comes along behind you (because in reality you are a bad guy) and they want us to tell them who you are, then we are obligated to tell the bastards what they want to know. We have no clue who you are and only really track stupid things about you like what kind of browser you are using because it’s important to us to know how many stupid people there are in the world still using Internet Explorer when clearly Google Chrome has defied all attempts to hack it. Since we don’t know who you are (and could care less) then we will attempt to make some shit up about if when those government bastards come looking for you. You’re welcome. Don’t mention it.

Oh, and something else

We have never been affiliated with Valley View School District, Germantown and Farmersville, OH. If you think we are, then think again. If you think you were tricked into thinking that this web site was affiliated with any school in the Valley View School District,  then you obviously went to a stupid school because Valley View schools are recognized as excellent in the State of Ohio and you couldn’t possibly be so stupid as to think we have anything to do the school district. Sometimes we support them by writing about things they happen to be doing, but that doesn’t make us a shill or affiliate us with them in anyway. Get your head out of your arse and start thinking.